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Doctoring Up Your Donor CommunicationsDebbie Meyers It’s been fascinating reading ADRP listserv posts about who’s doing what recently with communications and events. It’s also been interesting to compare how emails from organizations have approached the topic. Like you, I’ve received a flood of messages from vendors, companies and institutions, many of which I’ve had minimal interaction with, everyone from the cable company to my software vendor. Here are a couple of instructive examples how two organizations communicated with their clients. This first one is pretty typical:
Nothing horrible, just vague, wordy, and trite: “there may be needed adjustments.” (How about “we plan to maintain all our services, but we may need to adjust…”) A huge buzz phrase lately has been “in these _____ times,” which everyone is now “navigating.” Hackneyed and unimaginative. But the main thing I noticed is that the company talked about itself and not about me, the reader. Any time you start a message with WE or I, you’ve already lost me as a reader. Plus this sounds like Charlie Brown’s teacher droning on in her wah-wah voice. But take a look at this second one!
This message talks to ME — “our communities” and “your lives have been shaken up.” The tone is positive. No words like “regret to inform” or “unfortunately we have to cancel.” It’s “monitor” and “ensure efforts stay on course.” And the language! Using “whirlwind” and “wrought.” A real human being wrote this message. Key takeaways:
And with that, I will step off my soapbox. Back to the March 2020 Hub |